We all have secrets. These sort of secrets are normally ones that you would rather take to your grave. That’s exactly how I felt. However, I am going to share with you everything from my life in terms of my interactions with women. There is one thing here that I have only told two people in the whole world before, and it’s to do with losing my virginity.
Let me set the scene…
When I was younger I was quite a cocky cheeky little bugger. I was not afraid to open my mouth and let the world hear my voice. However, as I got older, I became more quiet in myself. I lacked serious confidence.
I actually went from being a confident extrovert, who was outgoing, to being quiet and an introvert. I felt like I would rather be on my own. Why? I felt as though I was not interesting enough. I felt as though people would not want to talk to me ‘cos I felt like my life was boring.
I felt as though my life was boring and I didn’t want to talk about then why would anyone else want to listen to it. The older I got, the more boring I thought I was.
The good news is this had some benefits. Because I was introverted, I spent most of my time on my own. This allowed me to learn new skills that I might not have done if I had been out with other people.
The problem is, sitting in your bedroom at your desk, or computer, learning new skills is great for developing your skill set, but absolutely terrible for your social interactions. I found it hard to talk to anyone, not just women. At work I was very quiet and this led to isolation. If you don’t talk to people then it’s extremely hard to develop a good social life.
Soon I was in a position where I thought enough was enough. I wanted to get out and talk to people. I also wanted use these skills, but didn’t have the confidence to do it. I realised I needed to do something about my current confidence situation.
Whilst up in my bedroom I had learned how to transform myself on the outside. By this I mean how your hair style, facial hair, clothes, etc. can affect how good you look. I thought that getting my appearance sorted and thus making myself more attractive would have the girls flowing to my door.
The thing is, back when I was in my teenage years, I was extremely skinny. I was 6’1” and I weighed in at a mere 10 stone 5 pounds. You could see my rib cage and most people who saw it said you could play my ribs like a xylophone. My eldest brother use to call me ‘cotton bud’ and would joke about how I could hide behind a lamp post.
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I kept thinking why would a woman ever want to sleep with me?
Not only that but I also had a crap haircut; wore glasses; suffered from a lisp; and had a gap in my teeth from surgery after one of my teeth decided to grow the wrong way (retarded I know :-). I hated the way I looked. I felt that the first thing I needed to do was get my exterior sorted and the rest would surely follow.
So I saved up and spent my hard-earned cash on having laser eye surgery and getting a tooth implant. I also grew my hair longer and changed the style. I started going down the gym with the sole purpose of gaining some weight in the form of muscles mass. I also spent money having an image consultant give me a new look.
Before you ask, yes my wallet took a battering. But I thought it would be worth it in the end.
Once I had done all this external work, I thought this was it: I was now ready to take on the world… and more importantly win! Sadly this was not the case. In terms of external factors, I felt I now looked 10 times better. But this just did not help me talk to people or, more importantly, girls.
In fact it had a slightly negative result. People kept saying to me, “You’re a good looking guy; why haven’t you got a girlfriend yet?”. This made me feel crap cos it got me wondering: Why didn’t women wanna date me?
(Side note: Don’t let this put you off. I think getting your image sorted is important, but you must realise that if your internal state of mind isn’t great then it ain’t gonna make the difference. It might help improve your state of mind but other factors play a part.)
It was at this point I now realised that I needed to work on my mental side.
Luckily, not long after I did all this external work, I met my now best mate David. We hit it off really quick and I talked to him like he was my best bud right from the start. At first I was unsure why I was able to talk to him so easily but not others. Especially women.
I now realise it was because of him. The way he is makes you feel. You just feel comfortable talking to him. It’s this ability to make you feel comfortable that makes him so successful with women. He can make you feel great about yourself.
I was soon telling him how I had spent all this time and money on making myself look better but how it made no difference to my confidence. Straight away he said it’s nothing to do with the way you look but the way you are inside.
This was when the real transformation happened. Focusing on my inner-game allowed me to see that I was an interesting guy and that people would wanna talk, and listen, to me. Especially women. It was just a case of displaying the qualities I possessed and showing others who I really was. I think that is the key to Dave’s teachings. Instead of trying to turn you into someone else he makes you realise that you are already naturally attractive, you just need to bring it to the surface.
I remember one night where we were at work. We had been paired up for the night and were throwing our usual banter around. Somehow we got onto the subject of magic and how I know a little myself.
He demanded I showed him some but I was very reluctant. However he managed to convince me and soon enough I had a pack of cards in my hands performing magic. This was the first time I had done it for anyone else (apart from my family). He was blown away. This made me realise that all along I had this great skill which made me interesting but because I never done anything with it I never knew.
My life became so much better. I could now talk and relate to my work colleagues better than I have ever done before. I would get out more and felt my social life had improved 10 fold. Soon I was out in the real world talking to women and having a great time.
Another problem reared its ugly head. I was still a virgin at 23 years old. That sucked. Even though I was out and about talking to women, every time I was in a position to get laid I blew it. I was scared I would make a fool of myself.
Remember that secret I was talking about earlier? Well this is something I have only ever told two people and now I am gonna tell thousands. But hey it could be worse, well hopefully anyways :-)
Around the time I was 23 and a half I had enough of blowing chances. I had girls so attracted to me and were gagging for me to say, “Let’s go back to yours…”. But every time I was in this situation I bottled it. Why? Because I felt that I was not going to be able to perform well enough in the bedroom.
What did I do?
I found a local escort who worked privately which is legal in England. £150 later and my virginity had been taken away. Though it may not have been the best thing to do, it did unleash the beast within. A few months later I pulled a girl from a nightclub, and then few months after that I slept with an ex-work-colleague. Suddenly I had gone from virgin to having sex with 3 women the space of 9 months or so. Maybe not mind blowing but I was fucking chuffed to bits.
Not only that, but by now I also have my first steady girlfriend. When we first met I was totally honest with her. I said I was not ready for anything serious or official. After seeing her for a few months we talked about our relationship and agreed on an open relationship. Therefore we are just like a normal couple, but I can sleep with other women with no strings attached. It’s working out pretty sweet for me… ;-)
I believe that once I had sex the first time I realised that it’s not a big deal. Now I am not saying that you should follow my lead and pay for sex, but I hope that you take from this that sex is not a big deal and that if you get the opportunity then go for it. It’s a very natural process and human instinct takes over. Also trust me when I say that whatever inadequacies you have are never as bad as you think.
Nowadays I have no problem talking to women and I also have no problems sleeping with them. Transformation complete thanks to David. Now I am here to help you guys so feel free to leave questions in the form of comments and I will help you out just like David helped me.